The Story of Callen, Tepuq and Dayang

  One evening, as I was lounging in the living room and chatting with the others, Kimberly exited the kitchen and made a beeline for me.

  'Tepuq wants to buy your guitar,' she deadpanned.

My guitar is a cheap acoustic guitar with 5.5 years worth of sweat, tears and love.

  Everyone in Batch 1 knows how much I love my guitar. My father got it for me on my 13th birthday, and that was when I started learning how to play the guitar. Having had it for almost six years, I had developed a strong bond with my guitar. I knew all its curves and edges, all its perfect imperfections (thumbs up for including John Legend's song? :P). I even named it Callen. Okay, so maybe I'm being a little bit dramatic here, but I really do love Callen. And because everyone, including Kimberly, knows that, I got a shock when she joked about it, or so I thought...

  'I'm not even joking.'

  The moment she dropped this bombshell on me, a thousand things ran through my mind at the same time. Why would Tepuq want my guitar? Am I able to leave it behind? What would my parents say? Is this the time to let go? I settled on the question that seemed to be the root question of every other question: Why would Tepuq want an old, defective guitar like mine?

  Inwardly shaking, I strode into the kitchen and talked to Tepuq Sinah Rang, our homestay host that we all affectionately call 'Tepuq', which means 'grandmother'. Without beating around the bush, I told her, 'Tepuq, gitar saya ini sudah lama. Kalau Tepuq nak, saya boleh beli gitar baru untuk Tepuq letak dalam homestay Tepuq (Tepuq, my guitar is old. If you want one, I can get a new guitar for you to put in your homestay).'

Worshiping with Tepuq by the fireplace

  Somewhere during my short speech above, Tepuq reached out and held my arm gently. After I was done, speaking partially in Malay and in English, Tepuq told me that Callen is the first ever guitar to enter her homestay. To add to that, he is the first ever guitar with which she worshiped God in her homestay. She offered to buy Callen from me, and in that split-second, I made up my mind.

  'I can give it to you.'

  As the words flew out of my mouth, my brain immediately doubted the decision. While carrying on the conversation with her, my brain had an inner war with me. It reminded me how Callen was my companion on my worst nights; he accompanied me through assignments and work. Would I be able to let go of him? But I had said it already, and I was determined to stick to my decision. Tepuq insisted on paying me, but I can be quite persuasive and she accepted him as a gift, but not before hugging me and saying, 'God bless you.'

Tepuq sings with more than her voice:
She sings with her heart

  Flashback to when we were worshiping together by the fireplace, Tepuq told me how she once learnt how to play the guitar. However, she dropped it because it just wasn't something women did. Being a person who believes that humans have the right to do what they want, as long as it doesn't directly hurt others, I felt sad. Tepuq loves music, and she is constantly singing. I could see how much she wanted to learn. When I offered to teach her, she then said that she had forgotten all the basic chords and was too old to pick it up again. By leaving my guitar there, I also hope that she will somehow learn how to play, maybe from her son, Parir, maybe from the tourists that come under her roof.

Tepuq pinning on the sash for me

  Later on, Tepuq gave me a Kelabit name, Dayang. Dayang is the heroine of the Kelabit folklore and it is quite a popular name amongst the Kelabits. Names are of extreme importance to Kelabits, so curious little me decided to ask Tepuq why she gave me the name Dayang (most of the other participants got their tepuq's first name. To know more about Kelabit names and the name-changing tradition, click here). According to her, one of the reasons why she named me Dayang was because I brought my guitar to her homestay and gave it to her. The name wasn't the only gift she gave to me. On our last night, she presented to me a beaded sash, which we suspect to be really pricey. I was taken aback (horrified, almost) at the thought of accepting something so priceless, but I accepted it nonetheless.

From left to right: A message from me to Tepuq, written on my guitar; my last picture with Callen; leaving Callen next to Tepuq's photos on the wall.
The message says: To Tepu' Sina Rang, thank you for having us here! I hope that this guitar will be a part of the joy and happiness that happens here. <3 Gloria, May '14

   In a sense, I guess this exchange of gifts symbolizes our relationship, just like how newlyweds exchange rings, or how people in the olden days would exchange locks of hair. Till today, I have not and I will not feel any regret about leaving Callen in Bario. Some people have jokingly said, 'You ditched your husband!' but my answer is always the same. 'It's like a long-distance relationship. Besides, with Callen being there, there's one more reason for me to go back to Bario!' In my heart, I am also assured by the fact that Tepuq will take care of Callen and use him to worship God.

  On a side note, the Batch 2 participants got to use Callen! Here is a photo of Kan Wai Min (read one of his blogs here!) with Callen!

Written by
Gloria Dayang Ngu