Returning To My Other Home....

You know you have reached a pivotal moment in your life when you look around yourself and see things differently. Things that never stood out, are now important. Things that were important are now so mundane. You now fully understand things you always thought you did. Life is suddenly so much more than it was before. When you reach that moment, you will know, because suddenly you don’t recognize the person you were or are. And I treasure moments like this, because it reminds me that I'm constantly changing and evolving, expanding and growing.

It has been 3 days since I’ve returned from Bario. It's 9.07 am now and I’m sitting in the T634 bus which travels from Bangsar LRT station to HELP College where I study. Returning from Bario has certainly been that kind of moment for me. Only when I returned to KL and started to get into my routine again did I realise how much I have changed. This experience has given me a chance to meet different, inspiring people, blend with a new culture and travel. It helped me to open my eyes to see the world differently.

I have survived without electricity, technology, transport, and so many other things that I take for granted here in Kuala Lumpur. Things I realise I don’t actually need. When I returned home, the first thing which hit me was when I switched on the lights, they came on. There was electricity 24/7.It wasn’t something which made me happy, but rather, it hit me how we had adapted and actually grew to enjoy the darkness there. The lack of electricity had created many fun memories.

 I also could feel the emptiness of my house. After living in a longhouse and being constantly surrounded by lots of people all the time, it felt empty that there were only three of us in the house. Big houses, fancy cars, many things suddenly felt so unnecessary and unimportant. Suddenly all the pressure of what others think of me, peer pressure and society conditioning did not matter anymore. Only practicality and simplicity remained.

The warmth of the relationships we formed in Bario, amongst ourselves and with our tepuqs and the other Kelabits also has made me rethink all my relationships I had with those who I love. Following and helping my tepuq (Tepuq Uloh) in her daily activities has taught me a lot. But I have learnt even more from just spending time with her. Her determination to learn no matter her age (she is above 80!). Her commitment to her paddy field, even though her body aches every time she returns from the field. Her understandingness and open heart.

Staying in Bario has definitely showed me a different lifestyle. One that I can now compare with and learn from.

The next day after returning from Bario I immediately started college. There was no break and I fell back into the same routine that I had been in for the last 6 months. Early mornings, public transport, college, public transport, home, cook, eat, study, and sleep. In the morning I automatically woke up at 6.20 am as I had been doing almost every day in Bario to just sit outside and stare at the beauty of the mornings there. However, I realised that there were no hills and mountains anymore. The beautiful scenery that could evoke many emotions was now gone but the memories of it remained in my heart.

 Bario will never be forgotten and I would definitely return there. Not as a teacher or a student, but as a ‘cucu’, who can’t wait to see her tepuq and kampong again!




The times that I miss , laughing and joking around together.

Home sweet home!

Christine