4 Things I'm Leaving Behind In Bario

In the short 16 days that I was there, I bonded closely with the people of Bario, more than I could have ever imagined. When asked what I would miss most, I almost always couldn't answer as there was just so much to say. Hence, I have shortened it to a list of four items, and these are the four things I'm leaving behind in Bario.

1. My Family

My ee ('mom' in Penan, /əˈə/) and amam ('dad' in Penan). We were having a picnic (sorta)

From left to right: my younger brother, Yohanes a.k.a. Kelit, me, my younger sister, Jennie, my ee, Aunty Catherine

Dom, the son of our Bario Asal coordinator. All our selfies are in his mom's tablet!

Aunty Nicole, who is our Bario Asal coordinator

Aunty Dayang, our Arur Dalan coordinator

The ladies of Bario, who are beautiful inside and out!

Tepuq Sinah Rang and I before my flight back to Miri.

Another photo of Jennie, my ee and I before my flight back to Miri.

  It was heart-wrenching to have to leave just when our hearts had started to reach out to and intertwine with each others'. In the week before we left, I started preparing my ee, reminding her that she would still have to learn on her own using the Penan dictionary I made for her, and I reminded her that we could practice conversing in English when I called her. However in this week, my mind subconsciously avoided the fact that we had to leave. One day, while walking back from Arur Dalan, the village in which my ee stays, to Bario Asal, where we stayed, it hit me so hard I almost broke down there and then.

  These people took us into their homes, cared for us and loved us like their own families. Tepuq called us her cucu-cucu (grandchildren). My ee asked me to call her 'mother', and she called me anak, daughter. All the people that I came into contact with in Bario showed their care and concern for us, just like they would for their family. We were accepted into their families, their homes and their lives. Very soon they would really start treating us like their children, even asking us when we would get married!


2. Good Food
  The best part about Bario food is that (most of) it is cooked from the heart. I had the opportunity to kuman (Kelabit for 'eat') at various places: Tepuq's homestay, the Arur Dalan longhouse, Aunty Dayang's place, Aunty Nicole's house and of course, my ee's place.

  Each day, Tepuq Sinah Rang would cook for the 14 of us kids, and I can say that after a day of work, coming home to a table creaking under the weight of our meal is bliss. Coming home to Tepuq's smile and hugs... That is what love feels like.

  My ee, even though not having much for herself, insisted on providing food for me, whether it was tebih or pan-fried tapioca. She always ensured that I was well-fed, reiterating, 'Makan, anak' and makan I did. The food that she prepared for me had its beauty in its simplicity. More than anything, it was full of her love. I once tried helping her cook, but afraid that I would injure myself (more like I would injure the kitchen), she only let me help prepare the raw materials after much persuasion. That meal that we prepared together, pounded tapioca leaves stir-fried with tobo (a bamboo-looking plant that tastes like ginger flower), was the best I had ever eaten.

  When we did community work at Arur Dalan, the ladies in the longhouse cooked together a scrumptious lunch (in a generous amount, no less!) for us. Our lunch filled us with energy for the rest of the day's task. Aunty Nicole also prepared a hearty meal for us when we did community work in Bario Asal. And of course, being Malaysians, we indulged ourselves in the moment!

3. My Guitar
  One day, out of the blue, I found out that Tepuq wanted to buy my guitar. Upon talking to her, I found that the reason was that it is the first guitar brought into her homestay, and it is the first guitar used to worship God in her homestay. I am super attached to my guitar (understatement) and my next course of action would shock me for weeks to come.

  'I can give it to you.'

  To cut the long story short, I ended up with a Kelabit name, Dayang, and a beaded sash with an intricate design.

  In a sense, I guess this exchange of gifts symbolizes our relationship, just like how newlyweds exchange rings, or how people in the olden days would exchange locks of hair. Till today, I have not and I will not feel any regret about leaving Callen in Bario. Some people have jokingly said, 'You ditched your husband!' but my answer is always the same. 'It's like a long-distance relationship. Besides, with Callen being there, there's one more reason for me to go back to Bario!' In my heart, I am also assured by the fact that Tepuq will take care of Callen and use him to worship God.

Read the full story here.

4. My Heart
  Bario has captured my heart, if it wasn't obvious enough. In the days after we landed back in KL, we were constantly pining for Bario. Whenever I met with the others from Batch 1, all we could talk about was Bario. For the two whole months after coming back, I dreamt of Bario every night. Whenever I ask about my semester breaks, all I can think about is if there is enough time for me to go back to Bario.

  I do believe that I will be able to return to Bario, one day, despite the packed structure of my semesters. And I hope that when I return, I will again be a part of the joy and happiness there.


Written by
Gloria Dayang Ngu