That Is Okay

For those of you who do not know, the main objective of Project WHEE! is to teach selected local Bario women who are in one way or another, involved in tourism such as homestay hosts and eco-tourism guides. To achieve this objective, every participant will be assigned to a lady. We adopted the method of shadowing; teaching our respective Tepu’ English while we were at it.

I was assigned to Tepu’ Sina Rang, who is the homestay host for all the participants of Project WHEE!. This meant that unlike most of the other participants, I was based where I stayed. Sometimes, during our debriefing sessions (they were sessions for all of us to share what we did, accomplished and learnt that day) which were held every night, I would feel myself getting frustrated for not doing a good enough job (by the standards I have set for myself) and sometimes, a wee bit jealous for not having the experiences that others were having.

This is when I realised that my personal experiences should not be compared with other people’s. I reminded myself of this constantly and now when I look back, I am glad I did so. I learnt so much from Tepu’ than I could have possibly taught her - I learnt immensely just from the way she lived her life.

My “teaching” days usually started with me asking Tepu’ what we were going to do for the day. Sometimes, she would tell me specifically what we were going to do and sometimes, she would not give a specific answer. The latter is because she does not usually have a set schedule and that some of what we do depended on the weather.

On my first day, it rained. I saw life pausing for a bit – a couple (neighbours) pulled some chairs, sat by the window and watched the rain fall. It was beautiful.

Anyway, more about my Tepu’. She is older than me but she has more energy, stamina and strength than I do. Once, when we were working to level a heap of ground, I was so worn out but Tepu’ just kept going. There have been other times when I asked Tepu’ to take a break just so I can catch my breath!

I guess what I enjoyed (and miss) most were my conversations with Tepu’; about her life in Miri, her children, her homestay, and her life in general. Tepu’ Sina Rang, in a few words, is a very lovely and loving woman who loves to laugh and make others laugh – she lives her life simply with boundless joy and shares this joy with others.

Oftentimes, I would ask her if there’s anything else to do or if something I did was done properly, she would tell me, “That is okay.”

She said that often. The words were simple, but the effect was powerful.

A timely reminder to live life more slowly, more simply, and less seriously because really, that is okay.

Kan Wai Min