This Is Not The End

Naam Kelik [am-kelik]  

Phrase. It means "I don't know" in Kelabit; very useful at times, especially when Bario people forget you aren't Kelabit and speak a full sentence in it- eg. "jfkjdfkdjfdk" "....naam kelik?"

I remember writing in my journal on the morning of 6th February, thinking to myself: "WOW IT'S MY LAST FULL DAY IN BARIO ALREADY." Then I laughed, at all those times we'd talk about how we have so much time left here, and now the last day has come.
[Context: We (Batch 5) were the first batch of Project WHEE! participants to have 3 weeks in Bario.]

My last full day in Bario; my last working day; my last day with Tepuq.

I put on jeans that morning because, a) I thought we were going to chill at her house on our last day together (silly me) and also, b) I was running out of clean pants. But as always, Tepuq surprised me by appearing in the Bario Asal longhouse, right at the junction where the road to Arur Dalan would have started.

My assumptions were wrong and we went to the paddy field after all, aha. Tepuq said my jeans were fine though since we were only going to dry paddy for the day.

Off we go.

Note: Drying paddy was like the only activity where my Tepuq was in an ultra chill mode because it's harvest season and she's really hardworking! Often times, she would continue away with her sabit (sickle) in hand even after I've left at 4pm, the time we usually leave work.

Admittedly, I was starting to feel that worn-out sensation after 3 weeks of working in Bario. (I've never worked so physically hard in my life!) Thus I took more breaks in between helping Tepuq with the paddy - I was making artificial wind by fanning yo - yet I couldn't just sit still idly.

Doodle I did.

The basis of my sketch that was later the drawing for a card I made for Tepuq. :) 

When she took her breaks, I would ask her to tell me more stories of the past while she showed me pictures from her extremely small Nokia screen, as if to soak up more of Tepuq before I left this beautiful highlands for more than a short while. She would tell me about who was a warrior, who fought hard, and who had left this world in glory. 

We drank tea as I thought about what I would miss.

I would miss these people I walked, laughed, ate and lived in the same longhouse with for the past three weeks in Bario; people I call my family during our pre-meal prayers.

  

It was a funny journey with you lot, my friends. I wouldn't have it any other way, thank you!

I would miss my Tepuq, and how she lent me her green long sleeve shirt that protected me from paddy cuts + her trusty red socks that protected me from scary bug bites; miss our shared moments of laughter over tea.

When we sat in Aunty Dayang's shed for a tea break.

I would miss Tok and the funny dances he did whenever he felt like it - whether for fun or to cheer up little crying Nora. The way he'd try to make me dance with him as well!

I'll teach you my contemporary moves next time!

I would miss Tepuq, again, very much and the times that we got to spend with each other. It really is a luxury to hang out without work during harvesting season, so I really appreciated those moments.

I took the picture below before I left on my little adventure (notebook and pen in hand!) to explore her backyard that day, leaving my red cup by my favourite window. I did a wave before I ventured off as if to say, "I will be back Tepuq!"

And I will be. 

# Xueh Wei Cathrine #