Wise Wishes.

It takes me two trains and one bus to transport me to university, every day. On some days, I find myself being very reluctant to drag myself out of bed two hours earlier only to reach my class on time. On some other days, I reach home with just adequate energy to walk myself to shower and crawl myself into bed.

While I was in Bario, Sarawak, I count myself fortunate to have witnessed not only the lives of the elderly folks, but also the lives of the school going children. Over the couple of days I have experienced at the schools, I have all my admiration towards how respectful they have been. To us, complete strangers at first and friends, at the end of the trip; I hope.

There was an interesting mix of enthusiasm and a care free nature I saw in these children that had me thinking of how much I spent most of my schooling years feeling rather pressured to perform academically better and only that. I remember not liking to stay back extra hours in the afternoon at school for classes and here I was, teaching English to a class of Form 1 students during after school hours, with an initial assumption that they were probably going to be napping in class and completely ignore my existence.

However, to my pleasant surprise, I had a great two hours teaching this bunch of excited and enthusiastic kids! I felt like I was doing something right when the students were so appreciative when I corrected their mistakes on their written essays. Getting them to interact in the beginning was a tad bit difficult, but the class got so much pleasurable when the awkwardness broke. Class ended abruptly one day, when the teacher made an announcement requesting all students to make their way to the hydro dam to have their bath as there was water rationing around Bario Asal.

Yet again I was amazed at how these kids did not rant a single bit or heaved a sigh at the thought of hiking up to the dam after a long day at school. They quickly got their towels and soaps, grouped up and headed to the dam while some boys sang songs and some girls had giggly chatters. At that moment in time, watching that sight; I had a hit of realization towards an aspect of myself. I came to terms that I should really reduce on focusing about my end of day exhaustion and simply try to look beyond and continue the walk.

Sometimes, I give in too much, simply too much towards my tiredness that the rest of my day goes to waste. These children too, have reminded me to be a little carefree. To always add the element of fun whenever possible. When I think about it, a little ease to the mind doesn’t really kill anyway. I have learnt to look beyond the situation and twist it into a little fun adventure. I would like to believe that these children had great fun bathing at the dam, might I also add how fast these children are at hiking!

More often than not, we all wanted to be adults as soon as possible while we were still in school. Through these children, I saw what schooling years and being young meant through a different lens. Carefree, enthusiastic, they have fun and they are focused whenever necessary.

Five days into coming back home and returning back to my everyday routine, I have these children at the back of my mind as a reminder that giving up really isn’t an option. Sometimes, all I really need is to embrace the journey and celebrate whatever it is the day presents to you; whether it is welcoming a complete stranger to teach you an academic lesson or taking a hike to have a bath after a long day at school.

Either way, life gives you a million parachutes, board it or end up watching it go by.

In every job that must be done, there is an element of fun. You find the fun, and - SNAP - the job's a game!

 Mary Poppins, A Spoonful of Sugar

From KL to Cardiff to Bario

For 17 years, I have lived under the luxury care of my parents. Being the only child, I literally had all the attention from them, both wanted and unwanted attention. On one hand, I was under the waterfall of love, drenched with love from my parents; on the other hand, I was scrutinised from top to bottom, inside and outside, almost every secret I had they somehow knew it (who can really escape parents?). That was a double-edged sword for me, I love them, but I never felt that I ever had any privacy alone, nor any secrets that I am proud to keep to myself. I always wondered what it was like to live away from them, so when the scholarship offer to go to a college in Cardiff, Wales, UK arise, I took it, and what I always wondered became a reality.

Bario Airstrip

That tiny plane to Bario!

Living alone for a year was one of my highlights, proved that I can operate without parents constantly looking over my shoulder 24/7/365, however there was a drawback I never expected. After classes and dinner at 8pm, I entered my room and was greeted by my dead silent white-walled cubicle (I live alone). The small room, however comfortable, could never warm my heart. Ever since then, no matter how cheerful and happy I look with my friends in UK, deep inside I was lonely, being greeted by the same atmosphere in my room every day somehow got more and more depressing.

Miri Shoreline

Living alone for a while, Aunty Tagung’s reputation for having her own style of “motherly” was well-known by the time Batch 3 reached Bario. I was excited by the challenge, but was clueless as to how to build a relationship with her. On our first day, she literally gave me a full summary of her family and her life, while I sat there almost bewildered by the information overload. Ever since then, we usually talked about our family and ourselves. Other than that, we do not talk much, and we have those silent moments.

At times, I wondered what it was like to have a more affectionate lady, more talking, more jokes, and smiley faces all the time. This was different for Aunty, we talk, but at the same time, we have our peaceful moment focusing either on the job or the food, which honestly I enjoy, considering that I am an introvert. I guess we somehow mutually agreed as to when to talk and when to shut up, and we clicked well since then. She cared about me in many ways that maybe only a few people will understand, and I could not have asked any better than that. I may have only taught her only a few English words, but what she constantly reminded me subconsciously embed itself into my mind: no matter what success or failure, or how far you are, there is always home. Listening to her talking about her children becoming doctors and lawyers made me realise how much a mother care so much about her children, even after not seeing them for some time. With all the hardship she has went through, she still has her kids constantly in her mind, with her wall filled with their pictures. It made me regret when I don’t make the effort to contact my parents while studying abroad, now that I have the full picture of a mother missing her children.

Will cherish these guys! Batch 3 (Credits to YC)

Leaving Bario and Aunty was not easy at all, so many memories, so many relationship built with all the Tepuqs, Sinas and of course, my teammates there, it all started in those 2 weeks there. However, one thing taught by her would be always with me: how far we go, or how high we climb, we have to look back, and remember the people who took care of us when we were growing. It may be the most fundamental thing, but also the most ignored fact. I will be taking another 13 hours flight, travelling some 12,000km to Cardiff again soon for my second college year, but what she taught me will follow to Cardiff and beyond; I never knew before Project WHEE! that I would bring something from Bario to Cardiff.

Start Blank, Then Stop, Look and Listen

Ever imagined stepping into a foreign environment and meeting new people? We have been there before, meeting great people and not-so-great people. Once in a while before experiencing another culture, we are briefed on that culture, its dos and don’ts. However, we get so immersed in the happenings and events that we forget about the rules and norms. Sometimes, our beliefs about something is inaccurate or worse, offensive towards others. Maybe it is time to just stop for a while……

Let’s start with the biggest group of outsiders in Bario at that time: us. Most of the team have been through ToT (Training of Trainers) workshops, learning about what we are going into, and knowing where is safe to tread around. Those countless hours of culture sensitivity and stuff were not all a waste, in fact it did prepare some to a certain extent. Nevertheless, there were always some incidents that occurred because people momentarily forgot about which buttons to not push, incidents that can be avoided if we just stop and look. I admit, all of us had some hard time trying to tread around the norms and common rules of others there. We are human, who commits mistakes, but don't you think some common mistakes can be easily avoided? There were numerous cases where misunderstanding could be avoided if people took more time to understand the situation better.

Batch 3 Group Selfie (Credits to Alicia)

We had our misunderstandings within the team and as a team with others, sometimes due to miscommunication, others rash actions. In the end, we have this big argument and discord among others which takes days to be settled. In most cases, all the intentions were good, it just was conveyed in a not-so-perfect manner. My Aunty Tagung, the lady I was assigned to, told me once that she was uncomfortable with people because they just talk too much, and not giving her enough privacy at times. I assume that those people have good intentions and just wanted a friendly chat, but maybe there is a limit to everything. There were times where people did not understand the situation clearly and jump into rash conclusions, making the situation worse than ever. If only all of us did take our time and analyse it more, many incidents can be avoided.

During my time with Project WHEE! in Bario, we came across foreign tourists staying at the area. 

Most were actually very heart-warming people, people who wished you could have known them better. There were also people who already had their stereotyped mind-set on others, enforcing their own ideology to make conclusions of some things. When we step into a totally new environment, we have to enter it with a clean, blank mind, without any assumptions or preconceptions of the place. It makes a lot of difference not to assume things, and acting safe with others. The assumption of wrong ideas may cause some discomfort towards others, because the mind-set we have on them would subconsciously be translated into our actions, tone and words. We may not notice those changes, but many on the receiving end do detect them. Those heart-warming tourists were very courteous in nature and were very thoughtful in their actions and speech, I am glad to have met those rare sincere kindness of people. If only more people were like that, if only we could learn to be as such, the world would have been a much quiet, and kind place.

No doubt all of us will be experiencing a new culture or living in a new place soon, at the same time meeting new people too. Just bear in mind, before anything, if we just stop, look around and analyse the situation we are in, and listen to what the other person has to say before making any action, less conflicts will happen. Many misunderstandings can be easily avoided, if we all start on a blank page of mind, and just stop, look and listen.

Precious Moments While Beading

One of the things that I loved doing in Bario is stringing beads. At such moments, it was a time of bonding with others who were also stringing beads. We were able to talk about anything under sun ranging from our lives back in K.L. to sharing with each other of our experiences thus far in Bario. These were times of good fellowship. 

On the first day we began our work with the respective ladies we were assigned to, I was not able to join Aunty Jenette as she was out of town. Instead, I tagged team with Kit May who was assigned to Tepuq Sinah Rang. The first task given to us was stringing beads. While we stringed beads, we talked with Tepuq while listening to the Bario radio station and enjoying the beautiful sight before us.

View from Tepuq's veranda.

We beaded and beaded, discussing ways we could use to speed up the stringing the tray of beads of Tepuq added throughout the day. It got a little tiring after hours of doing it but we were happy with the amount we managed to finish at the end of the day.

End product of the day.

Stringing beads at Aunty Jenette's house, however, was a different experience. It was also a time of just being to myself, thinking through and reflecting on the happenings of the day, how the past few days went and ways to do things better.

Being quiet without having any disturbance has been a privilege to have in Bario where I do not to have to entertain any form of notifications on my mobile phone because I did not purchase a Celcom number. It was such a rare opportunity because back in the city such silence is difficult to come by. Being here, I just needed to focus on the task at hand, think and enjoy the moment. 

Occasionally, Aunty Jenette would come join me and explain the types of beads such as beads once made of clay are now made of glass. Or at times, Aunty Nicole (daughter of Aunty Jenette) would be working on some accessories that Aunty Jenette needed help with while I would be engrossed getting as many beads into the string.

Beading in Aunty Jenette's House.

Beading - such a simple thing, but yet something that I have enjoyed the most.

Lesson Learnt

Aunty Jenette and I 

Throughout my time in Bario, I was assigned to Aunty Jenette. She is the mother to Aunty Nicole, the Bario Asal coordinator. I first met Aunty Jenette on the day we landed in Bario as we were journeying to Tepuq Sinah Rang's homestay.

Aunty Jenette has numerous jobs. From owning a bead shop, planting paddy in the fields and to running a homestay, I was immediately impressed because doing these three different things require many different skills and also hard work. 

When we first spoke, I noticed that Aunty Jenette speaks very fluent English. During the meet and greet session with all the other Tepuq, I remember talking to Aunty Jenette and getting to know her. From the start, she was very lively and open to talk though she barely knew me. She shared with me the jobs that she does, about her family especially her children and even explained to me The Bario Revival in 1973 when I asked of the significance of the cross on Prayer Mountain. She spoke most of the time while I listened. 

I was really glad that I got paired with Aunty Jenette. Throughout the next two weeks, I also realised that Aunty Jenette is also a very good cook and without a doubt she is a very knowledgeable woman who knows Bario like the back of her hand. Whenever I asked her about bits and pieces of this place she grew up in, she happily tells me its history such as the various places in Bario that were once an airstrip and how the longhouses in Bario got their names. 

Through her telling me these stories, I realised that I myself do not quite know the history of the city that I live in. If someone were to ask me about it, I would most likely stammer and be tongue-tied while struggling to recall some details of it. To be frank, I have been ignorant about it and did not think it is important because I thought that no one would ask me of it so there is no need to know such information. Now, as I think about it, I realise that it is not about just knowing such information but it is about appreciating how the place where I lived came about and the challenges overcame to become what it is today. 

This, is one of the lessons learnt while spending time with Aunty Jenette.